Girlfriends!

It never fails if I am watching television or if I am out at an event, there is a woman ripping another woman apart with words. Where does all this catfight come from? This is not any easy question to answer nor is there probably one answer.

One of the things that I love about the Girl Friends Get Together events is how fabulous the women are! The women are genuine in the fact that they come out to be inspired, motivated, and to connect with other women.

There are simple things that you can incorporate into your daily routine that support another woman. Here are a few…

1) Don't hate the player, hate the game. Women tend to get very competitive in looks, love, and career. Stop the "catfight". Focusing on your goal will get you further, than focusing hostility on another woman who you deem as competition. Maybe just maybe, it is the situation that you are angry with and not the person.

2) Give at least 3 women words of encouragement each day. By doing this you will make someone's day. Paying it forward has a high value of return.

3) Refer women in your network to each other. When someone calls you for a referral, start with the names of women in your network. When you refer fabulous women to each other, you also come out shining! Build the "old girls network!" A great way to start is coming to a Girl Friend Get Together event.

4) Keep it real. Stop the gossip and the back stabbing. Also, do not burn bridges. One of the best quotes I have heard is "do not step on someone else's toes; you never know if they will be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow". Be real by any means necessary, even if you do not agree.

Until next time…
~Shoshi

NOT FAR OFF IN A DISTANT LAND...

Safe Horizon's 10 Signs that you may be experiencing relationship abuse. With a little ad-lib from Bettina.

Does your boy/girlfriend...

1. Act jealous or possessive, like tell you who to hang out with or what to wear?


2. Make threats to hurt you or someone you care about?


3. Threaten to hurt him/herself if you want to end the relationship?


4. Pressure you sexually, such as touch you or force you to have sex against your will? (Yes, you CAN be raped even if you are in a relationship with that person)


5. Act physically aggressive towards you or not respect your personal space, like hold, pinch, grab, kick, shove you, or give you 'light' punches?


6. Spread rumors about you, insult you in front of friends or do anything else that is meant to make you feel bad about yourself?


7. Steal money from you, or intentionaly break something valuable of yours, like an iPod or jewelry?


8. Follow you around, give you unwanted gifts, leave you threatening messages on your cell or email -- all of which are forms of stalking.


9. Isolate you from people that you may usually count on for support, like friends or family?


10. Say things like, "I only do it because I love you..." "If only you would do what I tell you..." or "You asked for it..." and other things that are blaming and manipulative? (Another key phrase is if they tell you "No one will love you the way I do..." or "I'm the only person for you...")

If this is happening, girl, you have options! Think about what you want from a relationship.

What you SHOULD DO

Ask yourself: “What do I want to get out of dating?” No one ever thinks “I want to be disrespected and hurt.” Try this instead, “In a relationship, I want trust, respect, honesty and affection.”

Trust your instincts: If something feels wrong in a relationship, it probably is. And if ti keeps feeling wrong, remember that it’s okay to break up with your partner at any time. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, and perhaps it’s just not your time. Everyone needs a little ‘me’ time every once in a while.

Talk to a trusted girlfriend. If something about your relationship make you feel angry, scared or confused, find a non-objective girlfriend to talk to who can help you sort things out. You don’t want someone who will encourage you to stay with your partner because of their status, money, material items OR someone who will just agree with everything you say, but not offer a solution. You need sound advice and a good strong ear.

Get help. Call 911 if you are in immediate danger. Keep a log at work of everything that goes on in your home. Call safety hotlines such at 1-800-621-HOPE.

What you better NOT DO

Blame yourself. The only person to blame for abuse is the one who is choosing to be abusive.

Fight fire with fire. Self-defense means protecting yourself in order to escape a dangerous situation – it’s not about trying to get revenge. Wanting to fight back is understandable if someone is hurting you, but this may only escalate the situation and do more harm that good.

Settle for someone that is violent or abusive. Television, movies and even friends and family say say that a relationship makes you ‘complete’. This ain’t so!! An abusive relationship can leave you completely scared, isolated, hurt, Eff up your children, or even worse, you could be dead! Choose being single and safe over an unhealthy relationship. And don’t stay for the sake of the children. That will not help to create a strong family nucleus in their eyes.

The bottom line is that we ALL deserve to be in loving, respectful and health relationship! No if’s, ands, or butts!! For more information and for other helpful tips, visit Safe Horizon online at www.safehorizon.org

Until next time… be safe and

Be Seen at the Top!

Single and Satisfied!

So ladies....February has been deemed as the month for love. If you are single like me, you are constantly reminded that you are single. Valentine’s Day may have come and gone, but there a few more days in this month of love still linger.

Being single is not something to be ashamed of, girl hold your head up high. The best thing to do is simply stay sassy, sexy, and satisfied. You will attract love to you and so much more.

Here are five tips for the single girls to rock being single.

1) Smile- Remember to smile! A smile on your face will be like magic. When you smile you will be relaxed, glowing, and showing everyone that you are open. Pay attention to how people respond to you when you have a smile on your face. People will not be able to get enough of you.

2) Ask a guy out- So you are into someone and you think he is into you, but for some reason he hasn’t asked you out. Why not take the initiative? You can ask him out and stop wasting time wondering if he’s into you or not. Don’t think about it, just do it. Carpe diem.

3) Take a trip to a new destination- Have you been saying that you want to do someplace on a vacation, but you simply keep putting it off? Go online or go to the library and get books all about the vacation of your dreams. Before you know it you will have your bags packed, you will be on your way.

4) Eat right- Do you grab a pint Ben and Jerry’s when you are upset? What you eat effects how you feel. Next time you are upset instead of grabbing junk food or something filled with fat, grab a piece of fruit and go for a workout. When you feel blue going to the gym will do wonders for releasing endorphins, which will leave you feeling elated.

5) Be True to YOU! - Above all else be true to you. Stay in tune with what you are feeling and with your desires. Follow your own bliss. When you “do you” you groove is turned on and can not be denied. You will the passionate alluring woman that you are meant to be!


Until next time,
~Shoshi
"Luscious Lifestyle Diva"

HAPPY FOUNDERS DAY!!

To my sweet, sweet Sorors!


Cheers to 95 years of excellence!! Let's maintain the tradition, elegance and class set forth by the twenty-two women of distinction!! We are committed to serve!!

~Bettina Lee

04-NYAC-22

OoooooooOOP!!

It’s Like Will and Grace Part 2

If you haven’t read Part 1, please do so.

This past Saturday, I met the new boyfriend. I was a little nervous. I mean, this is the guy that is bringing MY little RJ out of the closet. What makes him so special? You know how you feel that little ping of jealousy inside when you see your ex with someone new or know that they are dating; even if it was a while ago? And if you see them, you must look your best and be fly as ever. You give them the ‘You know you miss this’ look, just because you can. Yes, yes, I too am an offender of this ill-fated feeling.

After debating (as BFF’s do, but so much that the new boyfriend became intimidated by me) about where we would have dinner, RJ and his Bo (let’s call him Ellerson), and my Bo and I met at Houston’s. I was wearing these bad pointy toe leather stilettos with leather lace accents across the top, dark denim trouser pants, and a dark iridescent green short-puffy-sleeved button down shirt that had a self-tie bowtie. Cute as can be; because you know I had that feeling. My Bo was looking fresh as well. He had to look the part; he is a reflection of me. Plus, sometimes I feel as though you must step your game up a bit when dealing with the gays. I’m not the Fag Hag I used to be and Ellerson works in PR for a high-end fashion label. lol

Back to the point of it all, dinner was great. I ordered the lump crabmeat crab cakes and a Dirty Martini (just in case); my Bo had the fish sandwich (I should have gotten that b/c it was really good), RJ had steak, and Ellerson had the ribs. RJ and my Bo discussed football, Giants vs. Eagles, and other miscellaneous guy talk. Ellerson and I talked about him coming out to his family, sample sales, and work stuff. We got along wonderfully. Oddly enough, they were a cute couple. They held hands under the table, glanced affectionately at each other, and shared food. The hair wasn’t flying and the claws didn’t come out. I do have a little ‘Raoww’ in me, but everything was calm. So this is how Grace feels? All I need now are Karen and Jack. ;-)

Until next time…
~Be Seen at the Top!

It's like Will & Grace

Hi Ladies,

Well, this holiday was great. I went to Colonial Williamsburg and hung out with my family. Shopped, ate, drank, and was merry. I also kicked butt in our annual family Scrabble tournament! I hope you all enjoyed the lazy days as I did.

Now listen to this (you’re actually reading, but anyway), my girlfriend/boyfriend RJ asked me if he could crash at my place for the weekend since I was away. No problem. He comes up here on the weekends to get away and to visit his boy toys….

Let me give you a little history on my lil friend RJ. He and I dated in grad-school. He is an athletic, 6’3, 220lbs, football playing, All-American jock. While dating, he told me he was interested in guys, but had never acted on this impulse. Once we broke up (no it wasn’t immediate), sky was the limit; he went buck wild with the girls and the boys. Hoe City. Through it all, we remained close friends (he says I'm his Grace). Recently, he has become a bit more comfortable ‘playing with the other team’ and has even ‘come-out’ to his boys (to my surprise, they didn’t care.) He hasn’t ‘come-out’ to his family and vows to never do so. He doesn’t tell the women he dates, either. This goes against my down-low beliefs and is a huge NO-NO in my book. I tell him all the time.

Back to the present, RJ wants my Bo and I to go on a double date with him. He wants me to meet one of his crushes. It seems a bit strange. I have no problem with gays, lesbians, transgender or whatever you are, just as long and you don’t act stank towards me. However, this is a different situation. I mean… RJ and I used to date. Yes, it was eons ago, but still. Will I feel the same way one does when they see their ex with another woman? Am I going to look at him in a different light? Is he going to be ‘less of a man’ in my eyes? Who knows? Whatever the end result, we’re going to dinner and I will support him. I’ll give the new guy the same scrutiny I would the new chick. Crazy, isn’t it?

What do you think? If you have experienced something like this, what did you do? If not, what would you do?

Until next time...
~Be Seen at the Top!